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THE VOICE IN MY HEAD

"I'm almost always afraid but that never stops me" I've said this so many times and its true. The opening of the Xclamations Lekki store was another daunting experience. I don't think anything cost me more sleepless nights and agitation than this project. I had nothing to justify opening this store, I was flat broke from a recent investment, I had recently lost money to a bad  experience that involved renting a store, my present store was doing well and it took time to get to that point. So why? It's that voice in my head again....that voice that seems to think I can do anything! Doesn't that voice know who I am?  doesn't it know I am broke,disorganized and have spent all my savings, aren't there other more creative and intelligent people it can inspire, I just want to sleep! I battled with the voice for days, I felt He was unfair, always stretching me, tricking me into thinking I had arrived and then pulling something like this! "Just let me think about it for a minute" I said and "let me tell you after  I have thought why I shouldn't do this" So after "a minute"  I came up with five strong reasons "why not" and knowing "the voice" He was ready with His points too. So we agreed to meet at our special place to thrash this out once and for all.

Point 1
The economy is bad and the projections for the near future is even worse. Oil money is drying up and so this is the time to hold on to money not invest in these uncertain times.

The voice
Look at you talking "economics and projections" Tomi that's so cute. You are opening a store not building a city, you do it because I say so, I am in control and I have your back.

Point 2
I have just invested in another project that has barely taken off, you told me to do that remember? I have proof you told me. I am yet to profit from that venture, I haven't recovered. I can't afford another big investment.

The voice
Here you go being cute again...ok first you need to stop pouting and feeling sorry for yourself,I never attend your pity parties so stop inviting me. You need faith to sustain any vision I give you, I promise it will work out with that project so believe me even when it looks bad. Look at it this way you are having twins...it's tough at the beginning raising them both but when you are done its double the sweetness.

Point 3
Phew....ok I am just tired,my kids need me,my husband needs me, I need me. These projects take time and energy and I know you,I will get a few breaks and then you will throw me in the deep end. I want to be like those women on Instagram.....always in Miami and Dubai on holiday and their little businesses are doing okay and their kids are always cute and well behaved.....

The voice
Are we still talking about opening a store? You really need to stop following those people on Instagram. Trust me you will have your time to bask in the sun.
but now you have to do the work. This is the season to work.

Point 4
Ok how do I get the money? Lekki stores are so expensive, then there is staffing, I have a challenge getting good staff, how about my suppliers,my factory........

The voice
Great now we are talking! All you need to say is yes.......I am God remember?

And that was it. Our arguments always ended in the same way. I could never quite reach the 5th point when He reminds me of who He is. There is nothing He cannot do and my faith is hinged on His capacity to perform beyond my experience or expectations.So here I go again, taking another giant leap,knowing it won't be easy but trusting implicitly in the voice in my head.

Tomi Rotimi

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